KINGS AFC 8 - 0 LIDLINGTON SPORTS RESERVES

League Fixture

Saturday 1st March 2008

Kings: Barber, Scott (Davies), Wilson, Loosemore, Haywood, B.Whelan (Muckle), Sacbuker, Tomlin, Morgan, Minty, J.Clements

Half time score: 1-0

Kings AFC Scorers: J.Clements (3), Tomlin (2), Minty, Scott, Own Goal

Yellow Cards: None

MAN OF THE MATCH MARK LOOSEMORE

Starting formation and lineup:

Kings went into this league game against a lowly Liddington, absolutely brimming with confidence following their defeat of Meltis Reserves the previous week… a number of changes were enforced upon manager Stuart Minty - With Clements. N still struggling with a sore ankle, Dyer on filming duties with his furry buddies, Milner on a ‘Kingdom Extension’ programme and Cain still revelling in his attempt to put together the ‘Kings AFC Chav Cheerleader Appreciation Society (KACCAS)’ – which currently has 1 member -  all meant that Haywood moved into the back four alongside last weeks ‘nearly man of the match’, Wilson – new signing Kyle Scott moved to full back, with Rambo Loosemore completing the defensive line up, alongside Barber in goal.

Midfield saw Minty come in alongside Sacbacker, and also saw the return of Whelan. B who took his place on the right hand side of midfield – Tomlin completed the midfield line up by holding onto his position on the left. Morgan and Clement. J added the sparkle, razzmatazz and flamboyance that have been so synonymous with their attacking play, this season in the front pairing. A strong outfit, considering the absentees.
 
The game started very slowly with neither team really getting a hold of the ball – Wilson was again impressing at the back with some calm and patient passing, while dominating the Liddlington strikers in the air, new full back Scott was offering good options on the right – however, with the Kings team taking one or two more touches than was needed, their possession was very rarely turned into anything other than throw ins, free kicks and corners.

However, following another excellent run from Scott on the right Kings earned another corner. Sacbuker stood menacingly over the ball, determined to whip in a ball that would mesmerise and excel and see a kings team member soaring through the air to bury the ball powerfully into the Liddlington goal – to which he would stand proudly,  taking his place on the centre circle accepting the praise and adoration for his set-piece master stroke – knowing full well, it was he ‘Allen Sacbacker’ the Turkish powerhouse that delighted (see what I did there) his manager……what came, however was not quite this perfect display of events. Sacker ran up to the ball, but instead of swerve and dip we got, a stubbed, grass cutter of a corner, that bounced and bobbled it’s way through to an unmarked Scott who duly applied the correct amount of pressure to see the ball cross the Liddlington goal. Sacbuker took his place on the centre circle ‘That was a rubbish Corner!’ a Kings player was heard to have muttered…’one day’ Sacbuker mumbled…’one day – I’ll be the hero’, as he looked to the sky, expelling a breath so filled with the hope of events to come. Yes you will Scholesy. Yes you will.

The subsequent events in the second half were little and poor. Both teams were competing in ‘how many foul throws can we achieve in any 5 minute period’ competition - however apart from excellent work from Loosemore and Scott – the Kings team were very rarely living up to their hopes of league champions. Barber was impressing again in goal – kicking excellently and making a flying save from a 30 yard strike destined for the top corner.  Half time.

Following the half time team talk, and the obvious ineffective Liddlington strike force, Minty decided, to move Haywood out of central defence where he had looked as uncomfortable and awkward as something that is really uncomfortable and awkward, back into his favoured role of central midfield. This then meant Kings went three at the back, with 5 in midfield.

The combination of an extra man in midfield and a strong head-wind saw a completely different Kings team in the second half. Clements J, so quiet in the first half, suddenly burst into life and was putting more and more pressure on their central defenders, who clearly valued their feet, ankles and knees – which are so clearly in danger when josh is around – indeed it was he that put Kings 2-0 up, following a goal mouth scramble which saw him drive the ball into the bottom corner. Marcus then made it 3, with a different looking Kings side now pressing forward.

The new found confidence was showing itself all across the pitch, Loosemore was rampaging down the left hand side, destroying all in his path as he went along, Wilson again popping little one-two’s with Minty, Sacbuker and Whelan, Tomlin was almost playing as a third striker combining well with a hard working Morgan and Clements – and in what was the move of the match saw Kings extend their lead further.

The ball was worked from the right via Wilson and Sacbuker to Loosemore, who after taking a couple of touches – slid the ball between full back and centre half to a menacing Clements. With a deft first touch, Josh took it through to the keeper and then proceeded to gently lob it over him as he dived at his feet. ‘A superb team goal’, Morgan proudly exclaimed. Sacbuker mumbled ‘one day it’ll be me that’s the hero – oh please, Lord, let it one day be me’, he further mentioned… Keep the faith Scholes keep the faith. That’s what Jon Bon Jovi says.

Kings were now utterly dominant - another scrappy goal saw Marcus score his second of the game, stroking the ball into the bottom corner – that’s now an impressive 15 for the season for the hard working winger. That’s one for every year of his life. One for every pencil in his pencil case. One for every chocolate biscuit that his mother puts in his lunch box over a 3 school week period. One for every valentine card that he has received from Danny and Barber. I could go on. I won’t. But its’ a good return, for a midfielder - rumour as it, Minty’s promised him a new A Team lunch box if he gets 20 – I’d hold him to that, mate (sorry couldn’t resist one more). Clements Hat trick was ensured when – a cross from the left from Tomlin saw Josh with an empty goal at his mercy. Showing his ‘class’, Clements proceeded to ‘dummy’ his shot, quite expertly – by actually shooting and instead trapping the ball – and then rolled it into the goal. Morgan was heard to have taken a sigh of relief at the goal as he is determined to win the ‘miss of the season’ trophy with 2 out of the 3 top entries being his. The silverware’s coming your way, sunshine. It’s all yours at the moment.

Manager Minty then took off the very impressive Scott and Whelan and brought on Davies at the back and Kieron on the right, and just as they had taken there place on the field and with Kings now looking every inch a team that can challenge for the title – all that had gone on previously seemed just the appetiser for what was to be the splendid main course. Enter stage left Stuart Minty…manager…player…money collector…and now super hero!

With 10 minutes to go, the ball was moved out to him, about 25 yards from goal – a simple first touch disguised the second that was to come…his right foot, now almost at a right angle to his left, followed through on the ball which saw it ghost and fly through the air quicker than Morgan in a ’15 minute all you can eat Chinese buffet extravaganza’ – the ball gracefully pinged off  the underside of the cross bar, with a sound that is only second to that of hearing your child cry for the first time (that’s for you Jeff!) – the ball then bounced once, before hitting the top of the net. An explosion of a shot and an explosion of a celebration. Kings mobbed their manager with what is likely to be hard beaten for goal of the season and took their place on the centre circle. ‘It should have been me’. Sacbuker was heard to have said You’re right, mate. Keep plugging away. You’ll get your glory. You will. Chin up.

With Kings now comfortable winners, all that was left was for the Liddlington keeper to in fear of picking a back pass up, decide that best decision would be to simply leave it. Good idea. Bad Goal. 8-0 to the Kings and with team members back next week and a tough came against Wilstead (that’s not right)…it could prove to be an interesting Saturday.

By Adam Haywood