MARSH LEYS 0 - 5 KINGS AFC

Saturday 3rd November 2007

Kings: Sansom, Wilson, Tomlin, Dyer, Cain, Haywood (c), Sacbuker (Milner), N.Clements (Minty), Morgan, J. Clements (Barber), M.Whelan

Half time score: 0-2

Kings AFC Scorers: N.Clements (2), M. Whelan (2), Morgan

Booking: None

MAN OF THE MATCH MICHAEL WHELAN

Match report by Adam Haywood.

Following a series of outstanding performances of late from Kings, confidence was high as they entered into what they knew was to be a tough game against a Marsh Leys team also riding high in Division 3.

Another strong line up was put out by manager Minty, which saw Sansom retaining his place between the sticks, Cain continuing his excellent performances at centre half, alongside Jeff who was returning from 2 weeks out filming with his 3 hand puppet colleagues and his bearded human sidekick…the defence was completed with Wilson and Tomlin, a surprise choice as full back due to the unavailability of Loosemore. The midfield looked strong with Haywood and Sacbuker continuing in the centre alongside ‘I can run faster than anyone else in a straight line, but can’t turn corners’ Whelan and ‘if you take me down, even with a broken leg I’m gonna get up and pretend there’s nothing wrong, I am the wardrobe, dresser and chest of drawers all rolled into one’ Josh Clements on the right. Morgan and Nath completed the line-up, up front.

The first 15 minutes of the game were edged by the strong Marsh Leys team who were competent on the ball and passed it well – however, following good work from Sacbuker and Clements. J, the ball got worked through to leading scorer Clements... Looking up he danced around the goalkeeper like someone dancing round something that dived along the floor quite randomly, rolling the ball into the unguarded net, bringing Kings 1-0 up. This then helped to settle the Kings team and what followed was a number of chances; good strong wing play from ‘The Hammer’ Clements on the right saw a shot on goal that was narrowly wide; Morgan struck one straight at the keeper following good work from Whelan and then Clements. N. saw a run across the goal end up with another strike from Josh which again was narrowly wide.

The Marsh Leys team still playing well, started to come back into the game, and would consider themselves unfortunate not to have equalised. The back four were holding a good line, marshalled brilliantly by the somewhat subdued and quiet Sansom and the ‘big furry bear’ in the centre. An excellent last minute tackle from Cain saw what could have been a definite goal scoring opportunity result in nothing more than a throw in…and Tomlin was showing that the hours he spends on the school playground kicking a fur cone or a tin can in between a couple of jumpers and a bag was not going to waste with a very confident and strong performance on the left.

Unfortunately for Marsh Leys, their good work was undone by a piece of magic from the most unlikely of sources – The forehead of ‘Straight-line Whelan’.
 
The last time Whelan had scored with his head, half of the Kings team were still struggling with their first words, while the other half…could probably talk quite effectively. A strong header from Haywood in the centre saw the ball played through to Whelan via Sacbuker and with a cry of ‘No retreat, No surrender!!’ the oncoming keeper blitzed from his line like an American female sprinter after just seeing the doctor for some ‘cough mixture’. Unfortunately ‘Pepparami Whelan’ was once again just a little too quick and expertly knocked the ball over the oncoming Japanese Kamikaze keeper into the net for a probably underserved 2-0 lead. Half Time.

The Kings team knew that the next goal was the key to this game – because Sansom and Minty said so…fortunately for Kings, this came early on in the second half.

Whelan was ‘owning’ both right winger and the full back, raced into the box and was cut down viciously with no other option for the referee than a penalty to be given. Haywood – knowing that Clements. N. needed to boost his poor return for the season so far, generously ‘allowed’ him to take the penalty, which he duly hammered into the top right hand corner, which put Kings now 3 up. Almost immediately the forth came from the hard working Morgan. Following good play on the right from Wilson with a rampaging run up the wing that defied his years, the ball squirmed through to Morgan who still had an awful lot to do, being 1 yard out and with only the keeper to beat…toe poke. Bottom corner. Goal. 4-0. Cries of ‘What a finish!!’, from Whelan and ‘How did he manage that from?’, from Cain and ‘I’m sure my history coursework has got to be in on Monday and I’m not sure who the 6 wives of Henry the 8th are…it’s ok, I’ll ask Dad to sit down and help me tonight – oh, I just love my daddy’, from Tomlin – pierced the air.

Minty then brought on Milner and Barber Shop and himself on for Sacbuker, Clements. J and Clements. N and could have scored himself when great wing play from man of the match Whelan saw strong goalkeeping stop him from netting his 2nd of the season – but the 5th was not far away and undoubtedly was the goal of the game.

Whelan picking the ball up about 40 yards out was heard to mutter the phrase ‘strength of the bear, ears of the wolf…SPEED OF THE PUMA!’, the result being a brilliant run into the box which saw 2 defenders tackling mid air, and a keeper grasping at the same substance, while ‘Brave star’ Whelan placed the ball into an empty net. 5-0 and Kings up to 3rd.

A strong performance once again from the Kings team against what was a good Marsh Leys team, which was summarised beautifully by Dyer’s favourite little panda bear, Sue. When following the performance was hear to mutter those immortal and most inspirational of words…

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‘I do love that bear’, Dyer replied. Don’t we all Jeff. Don’t we all.