KINGS AFC 9 - 1 LIDLINGTON SPORTS RES.
Saturday 7th April 2007
Line-up: Cain, Phil Hatton, Brodier, Wilson, Crane (Minty), Tomlin (Barber), M Whelan, Milner, Sacbuker, Morgan, N Clements (Paul Hatton)
Half time score: 7-0
Kings Goalscorers: Clements (Four), Morgan (Two) M Whelan (Two) Paul Hatton
Booked: None
It’s 2.30, the sun is beating down, grass recently mowed, a 57 year old with is picking up his pension… oh wait he’s playing, and there is a tangible air of expectation. Why? It could only be the setting for another dose of Kings AFC action, who are looking to pick up another three points just 3 short days after a battling performance against the league’s likely winners, Ickwell.
The team itself had one or two surprising changes with Cain deputising in goal for the absent Sansom. The only weak link in the back four being Phil Hatton’s shins, as he, Crane, Wilson and Brodier looked to protect any threat posed by the illustrious opposition from Lidlington. A talented midfield consisted of Scholes and Milner who looked to build on the flourishing partnership which provided much fruit during the Ickwell match. They were accompanied by the gruesome twosome - Whelan and Tomlin, who provided the pace on the flanks. All this capped off with Clements and King’s deadly marksman Morgan!! Paul Hatton, kindly stepped in to referee the fixture at the last minute, seemingly unaware of the hot, humid climate he still choose to wear a Kings AFC raincoat and if not for his brother, Phil, begging him otherwise, he would have worn his designer wellies too!
The game got underway and the perfect start was in store for Kings. Wilson intercepted a pass brilliantly, proceeded to take on his man, lay off a perfect ball to Tomlin, who burst down the wing and got in a cross. This was met by a thundering Morgan volley, that nearly bust every bone in the makeshift goalkeepers hand, who just parried only for Clements to sniff out the opportunity and pounce to volley pass the ball into an almost empty net. 1-0 Kings after just a minute of play.
The second came soon after this, again Wilson reading the game better than Crane reads his children’s bedtime stories. Beating a man and hitting a long, raking cross field pass to Whelan, who used his infamously fast moving Peperami legs to beat his man, AGAIN, and pull the ball across goal for Kings second of the game!
The third came from the most likely of sources, as the back four passed the ball around well, eventually sliding in Tomlin who squared the ball across goal for Morgan, who needed no second invitation to snatch his cough 32nd cough of the season… what a player this Morgan is… the question must be asked – “how have the premiership scouts not spotted him yet?” I do not know!
The fourth and fifth also came in quick succession, Clements sliding them both in following good work down the flanks from Whelan and Tomlin… let’s not forget however the masterful football being played from the centre of the park as Sacbuker and Milner completely dominated every blade of grass!
Morgan was in on the act once again as good work from Whelan, who quite literally jogged past his aging marker, put in a low cross allowing the big man to use his pace to get in front of Clements and smash home his second of the game… by this point Morgan hadn’t even broken a sweat… well, all except the slight perspiration revealed under each breast.
Half Time loomed and Lidlington looked desperate for a break, bar the pensioner who was still haring around like he’d just had a brand new hip fitted… however Kings were not done just yet as Clements was set free once again and he galloped through, with his new found pace after losing half his weight in hair, finding himself one on one with the goalkeeper. Little did the stopper know, but Clements deliberately wore shiny boots that glared sunshine into his eyes, and the number 9 cleverly rounded him and finished from a tight angle… Lidlington grumbled, and the Half Time whistle was blown… 7-0 Kings, a majestic performance which left Lidlington no way back.
Much deserved liquid was consumed and the second half looked set to start. With the game won, Wilson made a few changes allowing Crane to take over the whistle from Hatton, who briefly took a spell on the bench, then Tomlin having recently spent time in hospital through illness was replaced with Barber and Minty taking their places on the field… Cain came out of goal into a more familiar defensive role, and Brodier dropped back between the sticks.
For a period, knowing how dominant a performance Kings were putting in, Wilson changed the formation to a more attacking 3-5-2 formation, but this disrupted the rhythm of the game, and as Kings players increasingly wanted to stay up field looking for more goals, it allowed Lidlington far too much possession despite their inability to get back into the game.
Kings looked strangely lethargic and uninterested, perhaps understandable considering the caliber of opposition. Hatton replaced Clements on 55 minutes and took his place up alongside Morgan. Whelan was on the score sheet once again as he fired home convincingly. Then Kings player’s were devastated to lose a much deserved clean sheet when a through ball squirmed through to a forward who looped a fortunate shot over Brodier set the score to 8-1. A real shame for the defensive unit, who were solid throughout the entire match.
Probably the best goal of the match was still to be scored, but whom by? The ball broke free on the edge of the area, and it was emphatically dispatched towards the bottom left hand side of the goal by what seemed to be a high school geek called screech. However my eyes deceived me and it was in fact Paul Hatton who hammered the final nail in a buried coffin. Hatton celebrated like he had just won the lottery, one can only assume that he was rather chuffed with such a thunderous strike!
Overall a pleasing result for Kings in a dominant and on the whole, comfortable performance. What is certain, though, is that Kings will have to perform better in future matches, such was the poor standard of opposition!
Kings AFC Press Team
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